My first experience with Hong Kong street food

Had some really great street food today in Kowloon. We found a stall selling fresh juice and all sorts of meats on skewers that the woman behind the counter deep-fries to order. Kelly had an orange-carrot juice. Whatever, loser – too bad they don’t sell Birkenstocks too. I went for the fried stuff. They had every variation of meat you can imagine – pink intestines curled in tight spirals and threaded on skewers, slices of spicy pork sausage, hot dogs wrapped in bacon, chicken livers, and what appeared to be small cross-sections of brain. I’m not sure what type of animal has this golf-ball-sized brain. Maybe dinosaur. Or Palin. I went with two skewers – one had torpedo-shaped dumplings with crab claws sticking out, so I was pretty confident about what meat product I’d be getting there, and the other had coin-shaped disks of a translucent white color. I figured either radish or some sort of seafood, and anyway, who cares – if it’s breaded and deep-fried, it’s gonna be good (it turned out to be scallops, and it was indeed good). Everyone gets their skewers handed to them on a metal plate and they eat them standing on the sidewalk near the counter. I, however, was given my skewers in a small plastic bag, which I took as a sign that the proprietor didn’t want a sweaty hulking tourist standing in front of her stall and scaring off customers. In defiance, I wolfed my skewers directly in front of her. The counter holds several different types of sauces in squirt bottles. I call these sauces Red, Other Red, Yellow, and Green. Red was a chili-garlic sauce – not too hot, and perfect on the crab torpedoes. Other Red was a killer chili oil that would've burned my face off had it not already been burnt off by the subtropical sun (and Retin-A). Yellow was a Chinese mustard. And Green, well, I saw a child try Green and start crying, so I stayed away. I figure Chinese kids know what’s what with hot sauces.