Sunday, December 16, 2012

I'm dreaming of a sweaty Christmas

This year's winter has been the hottest I've experienced here.  This is what mid-December looks like in Hong Kong:  80-something degrees and unimaginable humidity.  

Santa's had a stroke and all of the elves are naked and panting on the beach.  And my sweaty bra is hung out to dry by the fireplace* with care.

*And by "fireplace" I mean "air conditioner."

Monday, December 10, 2012

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Fish balls roasting on an open fire
mosquitoes nipping at your toes
drunken K-pop being sung by that guy
and folks dressed up like rich gweilos...

Everybody knows some charcoal and a roasting spit
help to make the evening right
tiny tots at the next BBQ pit
will have nightmares of strange white people tonight...

We know the last bus is on its way
the driver won't wait for us at all
but there's still beer so we'll stay
and try to hail a red cab back to Central...

And so I'm spending another Hong Kong day
like expats since 1842
though it's been slurred many times many ways
"Where's the 7-11?  We need more booze."

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Cold, hard (and refreshing!) cash

In today's news from Shenzhen: a woman receives a phone call telling her that she owes 15,000 yuan to the government and she must pay by 5 pm.  But not to worry - if she pours coca-cola on an ATM it will spit out money!  So of course she immediately proceeds to the nearest ATM and dumps three cokes into it.  Shockingly, this does not work.  She is then arrested as she moves on and attempts to do the same thing at a different ATM.

Because China.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Clockenflap - you still have time!

If you missed Clockenflap yesterday, you still have time to get there today.  There are tickets still available and this year is infinitely better organized than last year.  Also with excellent food - tacos, pizza, noodles, dumplings, brats, pastries - get there now!