OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Mark your calendars, people!

Apparently In-N-Out is coming to Hong Kong for FOUR HOURS ONLY on Sunday the 15th. I imagine the line will be longer than when the new Apple store opened, so get there early.

Information here!

Please god, let this be true...

What have I done??

Occasionally 7-11 runs a promotion where for every $10 you spend, you get a sticker. You then collect those stickers to redeem for one of the toys that they're currently carrying. You may recall that a few years ago I became obsessed with the kewpie doll food products they had. I love collecting this stuff.

But the current toys are Hello Kitty. And I do not like Hello Kitty. At all.

Here's how the story starts: recently at work I overheard one of my new coworkers say that she was collecting the stickers to try to get all of the Hello Kitty toys. So I started giving her all of the stickers I collected. And I collect a lot of stickers (when you buy your wine at 7-11, they tend to pile up). She's a huge Hello Kitty fan and was completely baffled as to why I would do this, so to avoid hurting her feelings I told her that I collected too many of these toys and my husband told me I couldn't have any more. Big mistake.

And when she said, "I'm so glad I found someone else who loves Hello Kitty!" (like that's so difficult to find in Hong Kong) I just nodded and smiled. Bigger mistake.

Apparently to her this all translated as "OMG I luvvvvv Hello Kitty SO MUCH but my meanie husband won't let me have them :( :( ;( "

And then the horror began.

First, she brought me a Hello Kitty keychain.

Then a small figurine of Hello Kitty riding a unicorn (pictured above).

Then a Hello Kitty mechanical pencil.

And today? Today a framed drawing of Hello Kitty.

My desk at work looks like a developmentally disabled gay unicorn vomited all over it. How do I stop this madness??

File this under "Things That Would Never Happen in America"

Today my coworker saw me having lunch and said, "Oh my god - you like cheese? I'm SO glad I found somebody else that likes cheese!"

Progress!

Yesterday at the market someone asked me something in Cantonese when I wasn't really paying attention, and I immediately responded in Canto without going through the usual *translate Canto to English...okay that's what he's saying....now translate reply from English to Canto*. A great victory!

I used to think these little victories were a problem, because then people assumed I was fluent in Canto and would attempt to hold whole conversations with me. After faking my way through many of these, I've learned that faking it is one of the best ways to learn. So you go on with your non-fluent self and hold a full conversation with someone in Canto. The worst that can happen is that they think you're slightly mentally imbalanced when you answer "How many of these do you want?" with "Over there." And they already think you're crazy anyway.

In other mundane anecdotal news, coming home from work today I saw my bus pulling up to the stop when I was still a block and a half away. I started running full speed down the sidewalk, my coat flapping, tiny Chinese people flying everywhere, until I made it to the stop panting and sweating... and saw that it wasn't my bus. I stopped short while the bus still had its doors open and there was a moment when the driver and I locked eyes as I just stood there wild-eyed and gasping for breath. It seemed to last... forever. The driver looked terrified. Then he slowly closed the doors, and without ever taking his eyes from me, slowly merged back into traffic.

All up in 2012

After ringing in the new year by drinking multiple miniature bottles of white wine on a flight from Texas, I'm settled back in Hong Kong. So far I've got to say that 2012 is treating me very well. The next few months are well mapped out, with one of my best childhood friends coming to visit next week, a trip to Australia in February, then a visit from my sister in March, then a trip to Barcelona in June, then (finally!) the Trans-Siberian this summer.

The only downside at the moment - I'm pretty sure someone broke into my flat while I was on holiday in Texas and replaced all of my pants with identical versions one size smaller. The police have been of no help.

I hope everyone else is doing great as well!

P.S. - Eff the gym - my new year's resolution is to be better about keeping up this blog. We'll see how that goes.

More adventures in my (lack of) multilingualism

I'm going out of town for a week (48 hours of travel for four days with the family, but totally worth it just to get some Texas food) so I called to cancel my water delivery.

Me: "I'm going on holiday and I'd like to cancel the delivery."

Water rep: "How long you like to suspend your cervix?"

Well that sent some damn shivers down my spine. I think I'm in for some particularly terrifying nightmares tonight.

But I'm under no illusions that my attempts at speaking Canto don't create similar WTF moments. For example, the other day at the fruit market I was attempting to ask the vendor "Do you have four of these?" But I'm pretty sure I said, "Are you dead with this?" while pointing at a guava.

She looked nervous and nodded.

Dry it, and they will come.

My new office is in Sheung Wan along "Dried Seafood Street".

Well, not always dried. I guess this is smoked fish (if exhaust fumes count as smoke).

So, of course, the neighborhood is inundated with cats. Here are a few of my favorites -

This is the fat guy who lives next door to my office. He has a smaller brother, but I think they don't get on well because fatty is really self-conscious about his weight.

This morning he was frantically rubbing his head on some cardboard boxes to get a rub, so I stopped to pet him. But not before snapping a photo.

Here he is, very conscious of the dramatic lighting and striking a pose.

Cats kicking back on bales of dried... um... somethings.

Looking wistfully at some dried fish.

And a proud owner.

I love it here.