Apartment swap?

So, we're interested in getting out of Hong Kong for part of the summer - June, July, and/or August. Anyone have an apartment they'd like to swap for one in Hong Kong? We've got a great place in the Mid-Levels right off the escalator: two bedrooms, two marble bathrooms, an office, living room, dining area, kitchen, washing machine, parquet floors, panoramic view of the city, swimming pool, etc. We're looking to trade for an apartment... somewhere interesting. We're not too picky, we'd just like to spend some time somewhere new. Anyone?

Happy birthday to me!

Today is my birthday. In honor of this occasion, I offer you a video of the hilarious and very self-important bar that I visited on the mainland - Time Pulse.

Why yes, that is the bartender dancing in the middle of a circular neon bar on a floor that occasionally rises from floor to eye level. You're welcome.

And now, have some cake and chicken's feet to celebrate.

So this is what caves look like in China...

I toured a cave on the mainland, and because this cave is in China, it's lit with garish lights and accessorized with signs and lanterns. Here are the disorienting photos:

Yes, I threw some money at this sacred cock. Because you never know when you'll need one on your side.

The interior of the cave:

And lastly, leave the "stalactites" alone.

Odd China

Some highlights from the recent trip to the mainland:

This cat looks highly perturbed that I took its photo. Sorry cat.

At least he's better off than the rabbit. Fatal Attraction chow mein, anyone?

And as long as we're discussing animals, here's an emu in a cage. Because why not?

We spent another night in a karaoke bar with some fine young men. This is the second karaoke room we visited, because in the first one the guys were too busy snorting drugs off the table (through a pink bendy straw) and whispering in corners to actually sing. Kristian and I did a rousing rendition of "Lucky" by Britney Spears. It was my finest moment.

A large rectangle of feathers on the sidewalk. Why? I don't know.

Pages from a magazine in my hotel room. An article on New York:

And the Alps:

And perfume:

One of the small towns we went to was an industrial center where you can buy pretty much anything you can imagine in bulk. Like mannequins:

And vacuum cleaners. Together at last.

Very tasty fried noodles. With tentacles.

And finally, a statue called "The Three Stages of Chinese Woman."

She's come a long way - she could now pass for any hoochie in the world with tight jeans, breast implants, and a Nokia.

Chinese New Year

For Chinese New Year I spent five days bussing around Guangdong province with Cecilie and new buddy Kristian. It was, of course, a magnificent trip.

(All the red stuff on the ground is firecracker detritus.)

As we were traveling through small non-touristy towns, we were the center of attention wherever we went - people stared and laughed and LOVED it when we spoke Cantonese. Here are just a few of the people who stopped to look and giggle and shower us with attention:

We stumbled upon this thing dancing outside a hotel at 8am on a Sunday morning. The hotel manager "fed" it, then it spewed coins at the crowd. (And for future reference, if you ever come across one of these liondragons they eat celery and spring onions.)

This kid beat me so many times at cards that it should've been embarrassing for us both. But it was really just embarrassing for me.

And finally, the star of the trip - fried taro cakes. We had these at breakfast every morning. They are a beautiful thing.

It burns. IT BURNS!

Finally - the taste of freedom in an almond.

My breath smells horrible now.

More random photos from the mainland

I'm headed back to the mainland this weekend to stumble around the hinterlands of Guangdong province for Chinese New Year and I'm sure I'll return with hundreds of new photos, so here are some random ones from the last trip. Enjoy.

This chicken was clucking and pecking and scratching happily, blithely ignoring the parts of its friends air-drying on the line above it:

Houses displaying New Year's couplets:

And an old house that still has them up from last year:

Some old and beautiful buildings:

Dog:

Cat:

Cow:

More to come after this weekend...

Random photos from the mainland

Graffiti in Si Hui: I believe it reads "I like green beans." What can we do with today's youth? Are they a lost cause?

Tattooed goldfish. Because why not?

Mandarins. Everywhere.

Bamboo.

And balloons in unexpected places.