Friday, February 1, 2013

Village life: "this is why the neighbors love me" edition


As I've mentioned before, I like to the feed the stray cats in my village.   Hoggie, Blackie, BlackieWhitey, Intruder Cat, Other Intruder Cat - they all know they've got a meal waiting for them at my front door.

This morning I hear Hoggie's distinctive whine and run downstairs to give him his breakfast.  Just as he finishes up, BlackieWhitey appears.  I always make sure to give BlackieWhitey extra food because she recently had kittens, so I run back upstairs for my last can of cat food, run back downstairs, grab her bowl, and open the can.  

Then the smell hits me.  The smell of nightmares.  The smell of a thousand rotting durians in a cesspool of curdled milk and stinky tofu - the cat food had gone rancid.  I immediately projectile vomit the leftover pasta I had for breakfast and fling the cat food away from me, spraying the sidewalk and my door.

But the smell.  Oh god the smell - I have to get rid of it.  I dash back upstairs and grab a plastic bag, a spatula, and a jug of water.

All of this commotion has attracted Intruder Cat - Hoggie's mortal enemy.  I come back downstairs and they're locked in a mewling standoff.  But I have more pressing matters to attend to so I begin scraping up the mess, dumping it in the bag and trying to wash it off, when I hear my neighbor's door open.  She peeks her head out, sees me crouching in a putrid sea of screeching cats with a spatula full of vomit, and just slowly closes her door.

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