Saturday, August 18, 2012

I will never get it right.

In an uncharacteristically grown-up move, Kelly and I invited our new mainland neighbors over for coffee.  I'd met the wife on a previous occasion - dragging home from a drunken trip to the store, dripping in sweat, she invited me in for coffee.  I declined and, at her insistence, foggily programmed her number into my phone.

A few days later in a brief moment of clarity I realized that we have to live next to these people, so I should play nice.  That brief moment didn't last long.

But then, a few nights (and beers) later, I decided that we MUST have them over soon.  We're adults!  We get to know our neighbors!  That's what grown-ups do!  (Right?)

So after a few texts back and forth, it was settled that they'd come over for coffee.  She would bring cake.  Great.

They arrive.  Kelly makes coffee for himself and the husband of the couple, but the wife and I don't drink coffee so we had water.  Yes, I guess I could've offered tea.  But I am a crap hostess (as further reading will prove to you).

There were four of us - Kelly and me, and the neighbor couple - and she had brought four little cakes from the local bakery.  Perfect!  Because I'm so considerate, I'd taken the time to go out and get small dessert plates so we could all have cake together.  So cozy.

We put the four cakes out on the table, start chatting - "So, how do you like the new house... Oh that's great... Some weather we're having!..." etc. - and I'm getting hungry.  So I grab a cake and start eating.


Everyone looks at me a bit oddly, but they take this as a cue to start eating. And to start CUTTING UP EACH CAKE INTO PIECES.  I somehow forgot the "sharing" thing that goes on in Chinese culture.  I just swiped one whole cake for me, when it should've been shared among us.  The three of them had bits of the remaining cakes while I silently swallowed my shame cake.

I am a Western barbarian and an ass.

But I took the tastiest cake, so I'm not sad.  

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